the stressful part of it all...
clarkson, st. lawrence. hockey.1st night- 3-2 clarkson. 2nd night- 5-4 slu. and the bummer- with 35 seconds left in the game clarkson almost tied it up. so very close.... we would have won two nights in a row.and for all of you slu fans- i'm sorry you havn't come to the realization that clarkson is the better team to root for. :)
role models
i love picking out role models and learning all you can from them. there are different role models- life structure, family building, church life, work ethic, etc.... but there are always those certain ones that mean so much to me. people who have had a huge impact on my life whether they know it or not. an influence that i'll be able to pass on to my kids and hopefully be a role model for others someday.
so thanks to all who have impacted my life.
twas' early in the morning. all was dark; nothing stirred in the house but a lark.... or something like that. i was awakened with a 'crack'! i immediately felt pain. suddenly from the other side of the bed i heard a wimpering "oooowwwwww".... apparently i had flipped over suddenly in my sleep and butted heads with liz. i asked her if she was ok, then groaned a little bit. liz said she thought she was going to have to wear a helmet to bed. after a couple minutes she asked if i was ok..... my response was "i'm training to be a cage fighter."
and the best part?! we didn't remember my response until late tonight; then there was a lot of laughing.
in my head
i try not to live in the past, but to look forward to the future. i find myself thinking about summer- the fun it entails- the activities that we do. it always leads me right back to where i didn't want to go- the fact that chris will not be there with us.
for the longest time i couldn't delete his entry from my cell's phone book. one day months after, i accepted the reality that he wasn't coming back, and i would never receive a call from that number again. i pushed the hardest button i felt i had ever pushed; delete. i wept, overcome with sadness.
why can't it just be the way it was?
the summer visits to p&c- we would pick out the biggest shrimp, thickest steaks, the freshest vegetables. the bbq would ignite, the flames roared. the smell was intoxicating to the soul.
after september, the bbq was only lit up once and the memories that flooded back overtook me. the very week it all happened a song was released on the radio- 'wake me up when september ends'. it seemed to say exactely what we were all feeling- sorrow, not wanting to accept the situation, and just wishing we were in a different time.
right now as it all flooded back to me, this song came on the radio. i thought about the jetskiing, bbq's, cars, smallville. tonight that show continues but he won't be here to watch it with me as we always did. it was the one night a week i knew i'd always see him- without fail.
the special memories won't be forgotten, but the hurt and pain seems to always come back. i wish things could be normal again--
but i won't live in the past, i'll look forward to the future with great anticipation of what the Lord can and will do. without fail.
for randomness' sake
random facts you may or may not have heard:
all polar bears are left handed
worms don't have ears
turtles can breath through their butts
ducks cannot walk without bobbing their necks
only female ducks quack (male's make raspy noises)
totally randomness. :)
the meaning-filled lunchbox
here's the way it went down- for a while now liz and i have decided that we're trying to pack a lunch for work as often as possible. we're trying to save money and decided that it was a good way to start. after all, it does add up... so four days a week we pack a lunch and on friday my office buys it for everyone in the building. liz eats out. so after a couple months of packing a lunch, liz called me up a couple days ago and asked if i wanted her to pick up a lunchbox for me (and one for her) at walmart. my thoughts immediately went to me- walking into work with a plastic lunchbox, and leaving with it later that day so that my wife could again fill it for me to continue the process the next day. i hate the thought of carrying a lunchbox, and couldn't get past the image that i thought it displayed. liz explained that she could only imagine me leaving every morning- struggling to carry all that my lunch contained in different bags, my camera for work, my keys, coffee mug, and any other various items needed for that particular day. since she leaves earlier in the morning than do i for her job, this is a task she has not watched me go through; and since you have to lock the door with two hands it gets even more complicated. she said she could only imagine though, and she was trying to be thoughtful. but my waring thought of the typical man carrying his lunchbox still struck me as something i didn't want to do. i then had an attitude check- i realized that i was being prideful and arrogant and needed to deal with it and get over it. it was also in that moment that i decided the best way to do that was to get a lunchbox and use it every day. but not just any lunchbox- a powerpuff girls pink lunchbox. and just for grins, make it the metal kind! talk about humiliating- this should do the trick. liz asked what was my motives for those thoughts and i explained that i decided that i was prideful and didn't want to live with the lunchbox mentality- so i was doing the very thing and worse that i never wanted to do. after a heart check, we decided that i didn't need to go to such extremes as powerpuff girls, and that it wasn't just a pride issue- i just liked to conduct myself professionally in my workplace. and so ends the story of the meaning-filled lunchbox- my pride in check, my lunch still in my hands....or maybe a brown paper bag.
